She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
