pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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