Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
