Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
