So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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