It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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