What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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