So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
