You're my little dorito
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
