Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
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Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
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Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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