garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
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