lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
