i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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