if i can run in heels then i can drive
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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