Tell her she can't have a vagina
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
