im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize