You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
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Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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