Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
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i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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