I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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