Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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