Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
