it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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