You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
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Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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