you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Terrible idea I love it