But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.