i'm signing you up for texting rehab
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
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Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
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I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high