Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize