I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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