it was like his penis was on wheels.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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