honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize