he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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