watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
