Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
