miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
