i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
