And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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