I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
