do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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