i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
