Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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