Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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