i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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