Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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