She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
