There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
