Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
