So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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