I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
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One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
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You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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