so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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