Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
