just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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