please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
