just come out here and I will go home with you...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
