is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize