dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
