doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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