How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize