Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
What a dumb baby whore.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
