I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
