Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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